MACBETH: do you think I would make a good king
LADY MACBETH skateboards across the hall
LADY MACBETH: king of jerking off maybe

clean and clear commercial

hopunk:

white/lightskin/racially ambiguous girl: i had a pimple one time and i was ugly and dying and everyone spit on me and i was exiled from society but then i used clean and clear and now i am a healed and whole person with jesus in my heart

(via textpostsrus)


vulvia:

bonerbae:

boy moans are so nice

boys moans sound like they stubbed their toe please love yourself girls

(via textpostsrus)


Straight White Boy Problem #385

straightwhiteboyproblems:

*in class* why do we need to know this
*in drivers ed* why do we need to know this
*reading prices at stores* why do we need to need to know this
*kim kardashian article on yahoo home page* why do we need to know this
*looking at electoral ballot* why do we need to know this
*reads protein powder nutritional information* its imperative to know how many scoops of powder I must obtain for maximum output of body mass in as little time as possible

(via textpostsrus)


hardcorebrownie:

today i sneezed in class and two people said “bless you” i’m getting famous faster than u all think

(via textpostsrus)


punkwarren:

striderdaves:

i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search

i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement

(via textpostsrus)


partner: you be the teacher ill be the student ;)
me: okay
me: write an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. i want it on my desk by monday
partner: oh no but... thats such a hard essay... is there anything i can do for extra credit? ;)
me: no
partner: but professor.... surely then i could... persuade you to extend the deadline...? ;)
me: no
partner: so... what do you want, professor?? ;)))
me: an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. on my desk. by monday

maisiewilliams:

when they show a scene from two seasons ago in the “previously on” you know something fishy is about to happen

(via textpostsrus)


uhmeliamay:

meeting someone with the same music taste is seriously the best thing ever

(via textpostsrus)


serfborts:

when you’re one of the skinny bitches in the club and Anaconda comes on but you don’t give a fuck

image

(via textpostsrus)


beinggigantic:

*steps over the border into california* 

*red hot chili peppers plays*

(via textpostsrus)


communistbakery:

I write sins not cosines or tangents

(via textpostsrus)


porrimscondomstash:

When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

image

(via textpostsrus)


cooknut:

perchboo:

ebanji:

boys with pretty eyelashes

image

is that nash grier

(via textpostsrus)


I REFUSE TO BELIEVE M.I.A TURNS 40 NEXT YEAR

(via textpostsrus)